Children in Between: High-Conflict Solutions
REVIEWS OF HIGH CONFLICT SOLUTIONS
Mark T. Schaefer, Ph.D.
Department of Family Practice and Community Health, University of Minnesota Medical School
Licensed Psychologist &
Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist
Through an engaging and compelling narrative, this program is a must see for all divorcing and never married coparents. More than a general education program, it provides in-depth, practical instruction for emotional regulation and conflict management strategies, all based on research-informed methods.Helpful web links are provided for further self study for divorcing partners to manage their coparenting relationship more calmly and cooperatively. I will highly recommend this to my divorce stage clients.
Forrest (Woody) Mosten, J.D.
Mediator and Family Lawyer Certified Family Law Specialist,
UCLA School of Law Faculty
Complete Guide to Mediation (2015), 2nd Ed.
Collaborative Law Handbook
Unbundled Legal Services: A Guide for Family Lawyers
Los Angeles, CA
Parent education is the key to prevention of conflict affecting children of divorce and providing a roadmap for healthy re-organization of the family. Family courts, lawyers, mediators, and mental health professionals require quality tools to educate high conflict parents who require so many resources in the over-burdened family law system.
Experienced and recognized family educator, Dr. Don Gordon, has just released a state of the art online parent education program, High Conflict Solutions. Building on his success as a developer of Children in Between, which dominated parent education for the past twenty years, Dr. Gordon has broken new ground by making this useful course available on the internet at a reasonable cost ($129.95), which is less than one therapy session in many parts of the country.
Rather than providing turgid research data or a list of generalized rules, Dr. Gordon has honed in on common areas of high conflict impacting many couples. These vignettes includes how to handle transitions between parents, reducing pejorative language about the other parent, and how to handle arrival and return times of the non-custodial parent. These issues fill the dockets of family courts and can poison and destroy childhoods. High conflict does not unnecessarily mean violence or abuse—but left untreated, such common conflicts can escalate to dangerous levels.
As a family lawyer and mediator, I am thrilled to have High Conflict Solutions as a teaching aid for my clients to help them avoid costly and painful conflict. With the growing number of self-represented litigants, accessible and affordable products for parenting education become ever more important. And as a law professor and trainer, I will use High Conflict Solutions to teach professionals and graduate students how to improve their practice skills to help the families that they will serve throughout their careers.
John A. Moran,
Co-author of Overcoming the Coparenting Trap; Essential Parenting Skills When a Child Resists a Parent.”
The High Conflict Solutions program offered by Children In Between sets the gold standard for online parent education programs. Attention grabbing action scenarios, video clips, animations and narration provide multiple approaches to developing skills for the most stressful coparenting problems.
Kyle Pruett, MD
Clinical Professor of Child Psychiatry,
Yale School of Medicine
New Haven, CT
The high conflict class is especially strong, not simply because of the acting and graphics. It has the strength to address exactly the vulnerabilities that high-conflict families endure and perpetrate, despite their best efforts. The task the creators set for themselves is daunting, not unlike the problems they address. Their competence, sensitivity and extensive experience are obvious in this well-designed online course. The topics they address, and the order in which they address them, helps the high-conflict divorce participant feel that they are indeed not alone in this process or in the feelings they experience in this bewildering and painful journey toward effective child-centered coparenting - a goal which typically feels impossible to achieve for the many travelers along this path.
The narrative tone and context is expectant, supportive and avoids unhelpful, preachy judgments. The scenarios depicted as part of the teaching curriculum are authentic and credible, and the intervening graphics and didactics are clarifying, even while entertaining. Practical and effective problem-solving skills are emphasized in each segment, helping the online user feel a growing understanding of the previous bewildering interactions with their ex or their children. The skillful use of children's voices at the start of each segment grounds the content in their well-being, reminding the user that they are ultimately the benefactors of such hard work.
As a child and family psychiatrist with four decades of experience working with these children and their families, I commend this program for parents' use and appreciation. It will save them time, anxiety, and despair in lessening their conflict with each other- which, in turn, will be obvious to -and welcomed by- their children.
Robin M. Deutsch, Ph.D., ABPP
Co-Author of Overcoming Parent-Child Contact Problems
Director, Center of Excellence for Children, Families and the Law
William James College
High Conflict Solutions is the online course that has been missing from the repertoire of parenting after divorce online courses. The course compellingly demonstrates through engaging visuals and videos how interparental conflict affects brain development and child adjustment, and then provides real solutions to help parents manage emotions and conflict. Prompts remind parents to practice the skills and reinforce the lessons learned. Throughout the program the voice of the child reminds us that they are the real beneficiary of this engaging educational program. I strongly recommend this program for coparents engaged in high conflict, as well as attorneys, mediators, and mental health professionals who may want to share these skills with their clients.
William J. Doherty, Ph.D.
Professor of Family Social Science
Director of the Citizen Professional Center
Director of the Minnesota Couples on the Brink Project
University of Minnesota
I was blown away by this program. It beautifully touches all the bases--the perspective of the children, a systemic view of coparental conflict, spot-on communication skills, and state-of-the-art brain science--and puts them in a package that deeply engages parents emotionally and cognitively. It's the ideal companion to therapy for individuals or couples dealing with chronic conflict over a divorce. I will make it a required part of my work with these clients.
Matthew J. Sullivan, Ph.D.
Overcoming Barriers, Inc.
Overcoming the Coparenting Trap: Essential parenting skills when a child rejects a parent
Palo Alto, CA
As a parenting coordination trainer, the value of a well-developed, online tool that provides evidence-based, practical education to high conflict co-parents is indispensable. Parenting Coordinators should consider assigning the High Conflict Solutions program to PC clients as they begin work. It is a cost-effective method of delivering substantial knowledge and skills to clients to help them manage and diminish conflicted co-parenting in shared custody situations for the benefit of their children.
Dr. Mark Roseman
CEO, CFLE, The Toby Center for Family Transitions, Inc.
Preserving Family Ties, An Authoritative Guide to Divorce and Child Custody (WestBow Press, 2018)
Delray Beach, FL
This program offers parents what courts cannot and few therapists are willing or able to provide. Parents get plenty of useful tips for tuning into their emotions and controlling strong emotions; there’s even a weekly text which reminds parents to use the skills they had learned from High Conflict Solutions! Most important is the continued focus on the child’s reaction to family break up with clips from the Split video in each of the chapters blends well with teaching parents how to attune to their child’s emotions when they are starting to lose it with their co-parent.
As the founder of the largest provider of supervised visitation services in Florida I am confident that such highly conflicted parents will fare better more quickly and less expensively when they are also concurrently court ordered to participate in the High Conflict Solutions online course.
Hon. Christina Harms (ret.)
Director, Child and Family Psychological Evaluation Service ("CAFES")
Center of Excellence for Children, Families and the Law
William James College
As a retired Family Court judge (having served 23 years on the bench in Massachusetts) I found this online program to be head and shoulders above any of the others I have watched (and I've watched quite a few without being impressed with any of them). This program really motivates parents to change and gives them the skills to do so. I especially like the videos – they are so believable and present very realistic pictures of how to do it wrong, and how to do it right, and what it feels like to be a child watching parents' good and bad behavior. Bravo!
The Center for Divorce Education
© 2018 The Center for Divorce Education
CDE's Children in Between is a skills based program that helps children and parents deal with the children's reactions to divorce.
The program is based on research that identifies the most common and stressful loyalty conflicts experienced by children of divorce.